Dec 9, 2009

ninja vs pirate - off the cuff

Now, it may seem that it depends on the time periods and specific cultures from which the competitors were chosen; but I suggest it also depends largely on what you mean by "fight". For instance, a debate wouldn't last very long unless they both spoke the same language - and even then, the ninja's throwing stars would have to be carefully guarded I would suppose.

And what if the pirate was Somalian? What of it, you ask. It is nothing to do with his/her nationality as such, but a Somalian pirate has access, some of the time, to massive oil tankers, not to mention speedboats and AK47s - even a really fast ninja may have difficulty outrunning AK47 fire, or more explosively, the actual fire from a burning oil tanker.

You see, you really have to think about this kind of thing. I'll soon be quietly asking the right people for a new chair at Oxford, funded no doubt by a Microsoft billionaire - "Professor of the Public Understanding of Philosophy" - then when I'm appointed and had some chance to be controversial and start a lecturing circuit and manage to convince people to pay me for Skype appearances, I'll write a book about the conflict, solely, of course, from the Pirates' perspective - what say I call it (I think after a Margaret Mahy book) "the Greatest Show on Earth"?

1 comment:

  1. yes you see there are lots of Japanese pirates too. You could call those whalers pirates so add +1 harpoons to the pirate tally. and they r scientists so +1 to debate and haiku also