post number 134

Bought one of these on special today & composed a poem instead of studying or having a life:

The Bible

Is not like other books
Mine has fancy-as looks
With gold lettering and such
It’s blinging.

But strip that all away
That stuff ain’t here to stay
It’s not what this is about
Ensure it’s shouted out:

Donkeys will talk if you cannot;
like Balaam. It’s in there and more.
God is real – check out the Kalam
Argument. He will not be mocked
and He’s left us all a record.

It’s a righteous
list of commands;
demands, made of us
and fulfilled for us.
By Jesus.

It’s about the law and Moses,
and about Good News;
for the Jews, Ethiopians, Croatians
& other nations from star dust;
a God who loves us, He loves you.

The Bible.
It’s the key to revival;
i.e. renewing soci’ty.
BE QUIET PLEASE;
Cos I’m talking ‘bout the Bible

It’s my guide to survival
like a cross between MacGyver
and Night-Rider (some 80s shows)
inanimate but animate
an’ it speaks to yo.

It ain’t dead.
So, it’s like Christ
pressed onto pages;
the eternal rock o’ ages
in small text.

And it’s about sex. And marriage.
Prideful sin and its damage;
the groom and his bride.
The answers: they are not eastside
o’ even westside; they’ inside

The Bible.

Open yours today.


I could have got a waterproof New Testament for about the same price. In hindsight, it could've spawned some pretty cool party tricks. *Oops, just got coke (not beer of course) all over my BIBLE.* Oh yeah, don't worry guys, it's STAIN RESISTANT! Cue awkward Christian laughter. Aha. God loves you. Aha.

You think I'm lame? You know what's lame? Not turning up to parties with a water-resistant Bible. That's what's lame.